Where are you?

In college, I was in a band. We were a one-hit wonder (as in I WONDER why no one has ever heard of us). Our band name was called “Or Something”. The thought behind it was that we could say “Have you heard of the band or something?” and really confuse people. (It seemed like a good idea at the time).

Well, having given up all hope of VHI or MTV (or even BYUtv) ever knocking at my door wanting to do the ‘behind the music’ story of our one hit, I decided to plague you, my blog audience, with the saga.

This might be a long post, but hopefully entertaining enough to make it worth your while.

Go back with me to the late winter of 1997. Gwen Stefani was known as the lead singer of “No Doubt”, the White House was full of scandal thanks to Monika Lewinsky, and another school year was coming to a close in the Rocky Mountains of Utah.

For me, it wasn’t just any school year; it was my senior year of college. Most of my roommates and friends were engaged. Love was in the air (it hits earlier than spring in Provo). But, somehow, I had missed the boat completely. Not only was I not engaged, I wasn’t even dating anyone. And, I was about to graduate from BYU – SINGLE!

I was returning with several friends from a road trip to Idaho (to attend a friend’s wedding, of course) when I penned the song. In fact, the original name of it was called “Idaho Road Trip”. But, it wasn’t that catchy of a title, and since it had NOTHING to do with rest of the lyrics, I later changed it to “Where are You?” Here it is. While you're listening, keep reading.




Here are the lyrics in full, (along with my asides and insights in parentheses and italics). (Think of it like watching a DVD with the director’s commentary ON). Since it is basically about dating at BYU, there are several inside jokes that only those that attended BYU would understand, so I have explained them.

When I was only 17 (I really was 17 when I started college)
And barely 5 foot 2, (I’m 5’6”)
I knew I’d meet the man of my dreams
In the Land of BYU. (It truly is its own anomaly of a city)

However…

You weren’t in my Y-group, (During Freshman orientation, all freshies are divided up into Y-groups that you do all your bonding activities and classes with)
Or in ward boundary lines.
I took a social dance class, (The ultimate ‘dating’ class (beginning ballroom) – I refused to ever take this class on moral grounds)
But still I could not find

You so I

Changed my major to El Ed, (Elementary Education – the major that let the boys know you just wanted to get married and raise kids – no offense my El Ed friends – you’re the ones laughing now – I have no idea what I’m doing with my kids!)
So I’d be a good wife.
And with the hopes of getting wed,
I studied in the Clyde (The Clyde building was mainly for engineering students, which were mainly men… its all about ratios of men/women at BYU)

Building…

CHORUS:
Where? Where are You?
Did you not make it into BYU? (Even back then, it was hard to get into BYU, so maybe my man was going to UVSC instead?)
Why? Why am I
All alone, and ready to cry? (just for rhyming purposes – I’m not much of a crier)
I thought that we’d
Fall in love,
And be married.
Now, where are you?
I hope I didn’t miss my cue.

So three years of this game I played, (Freshman, Sophomore, Junior year)
Then I was called to serve. (True)
So to my friends and family bade
Farewell and got the nerve

To ask my

Mom if I should look for you
While serving in the field.
A good Zone leader who’d be true (Zone leaders are elders who’ve been given extra responsibility in the field)
To whom I could be sealed. (I had a strictly professional relationship w/ the elders in my mission)

So in the

MTC I tried to find
My true love everywhere.
But sadly I was reassigned
To serve on Temple Square! (In case you didn’t know, Temple Square is the only mission made up entirely of sister missionaries)

Oh dear me!

CHORUS

So now I’ve come for one last chance
Back here in Zoobieland. (A nickname for BYU)
I’ll look for you at every dance, (They had dances every weekend)
So you can hold my hand. (Interdigitation – this was like first or second base at BYU)

But then you’d

Say, like other guys I meet
I’m nice and everything.
But if my spirit is so sweet, (The ultimate ‘rejection’ – “you have a sweet spirit”)
Why don’t I have a ring? (an engagement ring – the ultimate prize for a girl at BYU)

And now I

Graduate this afternoon,
And you are all I lack.
And if I don’t meet you real soon,
I WANT MY MONEY BACK! (tuition money – why else attend BYU? Joking)

So tell me..

Chorus

Well now I’m almost thirty-two
Just got my master’s degree.
But I just can’t leave BYU
So I’ll get my PhD. (I actually did go back to BYU and got my master's degree, but by then I'd met Dave. We got married during my first year of MBA school. Good thing, because I never wanted to write a dissertation!)

Okay, so there it is! I manipulated one of our FHE brothers who worked at the BYU recording studios to smuggle us in after hours and we recorded it. I then got the demo and we mass produced it on cassete single (by mass produce I mean we got the minimum quantity, 100). We actually played at a few BYUSA functions around campus. We even sold 6 tapes to the BYU bookstore! (Later, I saw 5 of them on the clearance table). I think I sold most of the tapes to my dad. Ahh! What a supporter! We even opened up for Peter Breinholt at the Senior Party for all graduating seniors, but alas, our mikes didn't work and so no one could hear the amazing song that would have been a one-hit wonder.

But, now you have. Consider yourselves one of the few, the proud.

Ash

In honor of our next President, I thought I'd share a funny story with you. This is NOT a racist story, by ANY means. I promise.

So, in high school, Dave played football. He played in Texas and Virginia. Most of his teammates were black (or is it African American?). At any rate, in the locker room these guys would always be asking him for lotion to take care of their 'ash'. Ash, if you don't know, is what happens to black skin when it gets really dry -- it turns scaly and white and looks like 'ash'. So, the conversations would be something like this, "Yo, Blaser, pass me some lotion -- I got ash!" or "Shoo, brother, you got lotion? I's got ash". Dave: "Why would I have lotion?" ...

Okay, fast forward about 7-8 years, Dave and I are married, living in Provo. I'm expecting Eden, so by this time I'd heard his football stories more than once. At the time, I was getting my MBA at BYU. I worked part-time in the admissions office. One of my co-workers and colleagues, Sean, was black. We were good friends, but he also knew how "utah" and "white" I was.

So, I had left the office to run an errand, and he had some other students in there and was trying to explain what ash was, and that NO ONE in Utah had ever heard of it. Just then he saw me walking back down the hall and told his friends, "Okay, here comes Jennie. I'll prove my point. No one is more Utah or white than Jennie. Let's see if she's heard of ash". In I walk and he says, "Jennie, do you know what ash is?" Immediately I remember Dave's stories and my reply is likety-split, in my best southern accent:

"Shoo, brother! Pass me some lotion. I got ASH!"

Sean literally fell off his chair laughing. The other guys there were also laughing so hard they started crying! Pretty funny. So there, now you know what ash is!

The First Kiss

The other day, Dave and I realized that it has been 10 years (this week sometime) since our first kiss. So, I thought I'd share our first kiss story -- because it is a classic!

So, Dave and I were set up on a blind date by our mutual friend Brian. (Brian worked for me, Brian was Dave's roommate). We had a jovial time that first night. Dave called me the next day to say what a good time he'd had. Over the next 2 months we dated sporadically. At this time, my parents were living in Hong Kong and I only saw them every 6 months at General Conference. I was 24, a returned missionary, a graduate of BYU, and SINGLE. If I didn't show up with a boy every 6 months to conference, I would get 'a talk' about making more of an effort, etc. So, I invited Dave. He was a great sport (even though his roommate had accidentally shaved off his hair the day before).

Anyway, back to the first kiss. By the end of the semester (end of April), Dave and I had gone out regularly. His mom was out from Florida visiting Dave's grandma, who had cancer. Dave wanted me to come out and meet his mom. I remember thinking that things were getting too serious if he wanted me to meet his mom. (Remember, I took him to meet my family to avoid another 6 months of sighs from my family). I had decided that Dave and I didn't really have a future. I enjoyed his company, but if I was meeting his family, I needed to let Dave know that I just didn't feel there was much of a future. Also, Dave was leaving the next day to go home to Florida for 10 days and I didn't want to lead him on -- but to break things off before he left.

So, the whole drive home (from Orem to Provo), I went through in my mind what I was going to say -- how I was going to let him know my feelings, etc. He pulled up in the 1991 Honda Accord (now Courtney Despain's car) in front of the scenic dumpster in the parking lot of my apartment building. I got up the nerve and said, "Dave, I have really enjoyed spending time with you these past months. I like you as a friend, but I really can't guarantee that those feelings will ever change into something more. You are welcome to take your chances, but I just wanted to let you know how I felt."

The next thing I know, Dave is kissing me. WHAT? Okay, now for Dave's thought process: of my speech, the only part he heard was "take your chances", so he decided to do just that.

Utterly confused and a little dazed (it's not like I have kissed a lot of people in my life), I got out of the car and tried to replay my words to see how they could have led to that reaction. Dave got out and we started the long hike up the three flights of stairs. Luckily, my roommate came out to let me know my Dad was on the phone from Hong Kong and I need to go talk to him. Dave gave me a quick hug and said he'd call me from Florida.

Over the next 10 days I laughed about the whole thing with my roommates and mission friends. No one could believe that he had done that! And, although my roommates absolutely LOVED Dave and praised his every quality, I had decided that I need to be much more clear with him and end things when he returned.

When he got back, he asked me over for a BBQ with his roommates. Me being the not-so-sensitive person that I was then, I took my roommate along with me so he wouldn't try and kiss me again! After the BBQ, he walked us home. At our house, I wanted to explain my feelings again, so he came in and we sat down on the couch. My mission scrapbook was sitting there and we started looking at it. He sat there for over an hour actually interested in my mission and all the stories that accompanied the pictures. Then, I told him in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS what I was trying to say that night in front of the dumpster. He apologized for misunderstanding. As he was leaving, I gave him a hug, and before I could pull away, there he was kissing me again!

This time, however, I thought, 'What the heck!" and kissed him back. The rest -- as they say -- is history!

P.s. His roommates hold him up high in their books because a girl told him she just wanted to be friends (the line of death), he returned it with a kiss 'so incredible' that I ended up marrying him! :)

P.P.S. I'm so happy I am married to him. He is perfect for me in every way.