Thursday, January 26, 2012

A lonely clean sock

Here's another prompt, this one from two years ago!

You are a single clean sock that gets left in the hamper and covered up with dirty clothes.

"I'm next. I'm next" I thought. Obviously it was my turn next. The pressure stacked on top of me all day had finally lifted. I was free! Any second now, she'd reach in, pick me up in her wonderfully wrinkled hands and help me find my soul mate.

I had survived another rustle in my master's worn-out shoe. I had kept my strings together throughout the school day, not once falling down around his ankles like some other socks did. I had not complained when he threw off the protective shell around me to wallop in the dirty sand at the park. I put up with the grittiness when back into my shell I went for the ride home.

Then, into the stink. I awaited my cleansing. This was always the hardest. The darkness. The pressure. The smell. The endless wait 'til laundry day. But, I'd made it! I swam with ferocity, soaking up as much cleanliness as I could, then bathing in the pure rinse cycle.

My favorite part was the heat. The warmth, the fluffiness. It was like I was flying. Gravity had no hold on me in there! And now, here it was, my turn to be handled individually, to find my match.

Any second now...

Okay, maybe tomorrow...

What? More pressure? And smelly ones at that!


Friday, January 20, 2012

13 wonderful years

Yesterday was our thirteenth anniversary. It was a crazy, busy day for Dave, and I decided his gift would be a clean house, so thats what I did all day. But, while I was cleaning baseboards and dusting, I kept thinking about fun things most people don't know about Dave. So, here are 13 things you might not know about David Paul Blaser.

1. He frequently (as in several times a week) does the dishes.
2. He mops the floor, cleans the toilets, and scrubs the shower more than I do.
3. I've often caught him asleep in bed with his ipad propped open to the scriptures, the Ensign, or the Church handbook of instructions.
4. He often has a bowl of sugar cereal while watching TV for his 30 minutes of wind down time at the end of the day.
5. Sleeping in for him is getting up at 7:00 a.m. on a rare Saturday instead of the usual 5:00 a.m. alarm.
6. He built Josh's bed.
7. He has given me 13 back rubs for every 1 that I've given him over the course of our marriage. (I'm spoiled, I know)
8. He has to wash his hair out immediately after getting it cut, even if they styled it at the shop.
9. He calls his dad almost daily on his drive home from work.
10. He enjoys reading political non-fiction books.
11. He flosses every morning.
12. Dinner and a movie is his first choice of a night out's activities.
13. He always tells each of us in our family every day that he loves us.

I love you Dave! You are a wonderful husband. People regularly tell me how great of a person he is. He's one of the good ones. Thanks for thirteen great years.

Love, Jennie

Thursday, January 12, 2012

If iphones could talk... PROMPT

I have the immeasurable privilege of meeting twice a month with a writer's group. There are four of us ladies and we are searching for a great name for our group. Suggestions welcome. However, that is not the point of this post.

Each time we meet, we start off with a prompt. We then furiously scratch away for 10 minutes and then share what we wrote with each other. Sometimes they are silly, sometimes they are thought provoking. Sometimes they whet the literary appetite for an entire story to follow.

I thought I'd share some of the prompts I've written over the last two years. Now, keep in mind we are given these prompts cold and have only ten minutes. I have tried to correct grammar, but other than that, I've left the story as is. So, while this is not a New Years Resolution, I am trying to resurrect this blog just to put myself out there a bit more and declare: Yes, I am a writer.

Jan. 12, 2012
Prompt: A Christmas gift that you have wanted for a long time is finally yours. You put it away at the end of the day, and to your astonishment, it talks to you....

My response:

I finally decided to turn off my new iphone. Well, not turn it off, but plug it in to its charger and let it rest and get enough energy to deal with my insatiable desire for surfing the app store, playing words with friends, and texting.
For years my husband had told me to get a smart phone, that life would be easier with it. I'd shoved his sweet intentions away on basis of cost and necessity. Always the practical, responsible one. But, every marriage needs one. But, for Christmas, he had gotten me one and I had been too delighted to muster a complaint.
I got out of bed and plugged my phone into the wall charger. A soft ting confirmed it had landed. Then, I climbed back into bed, a smile on my face, and whispered, "Good night iphone."

"Good night, Jennie." came a husky, robotic voice in reply. My heart lurched out of my body before my mind could follow.
"Who's there?" I winced. I looked over at my husband's sleeping form to see if he was pranking me. He answered with a steady snore.


"Yes?" The same voice answered. I looked over to where I had plugged it in.

"Can you hear me?" Trepidation in every syllable.


A sudden realization. "Is this Siri?" The newest iphones came with a lady's voice programmed to answer any question you might have. "This is Siri, right?"

"No, I'm not Siri. Siri can only respond when you touch her microphone button. I am your iphone. I've come to tell you an important message before you get so carried away with me that you wile away your life."

"I don't... um... are you alive?" Was I awake?

"No, I'm not alive. I'm your iphone. Now, do you want the message?"

"Um... sure, I guess."

"As long as you own me, I'll be monitoring your time, your thoughts, your words, and your deeds. And, at the last day, at the final judgment, I'll be there, ready with my report of your life. So, use me wisely."

Within minutes, the only apps on my iphone I still had were the gospel library, LDS tools, and the Mormon Channel.

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