Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The flies on the wall were cracking up!

This is guaranteed to summon a few snickers (not the candy bar kind), a giggle or two and and least one good snort.

This is what the flies heard Monday night:

(At dinner)

Josh: "What do you think I'll be when I get up?"
Eden: "Get up?"
Josh: "I mean grow up. What do you think I'll be when I grow up?"
Dave: "A doctor."
Me: "An engineer."
Josh: "Nope. I don't think those will work out."
Dave: "What are you going to be, then?"
Josh: "An Illustrator"
Eden: "You mean an artist?"
Josh: "No, an Illustrator:
Me: "Drawing pictures for books."
Dave: "Just as long as you can make enough money doing that Josh, you'll be fine."
Josh: "Money isn't the most important thing, Dad."
Eden: "Fun is the most important thing."
Me: (Laughter)
Dave: "No, that's not right, Eden. But, Josh, I know money isn't the most important thing..."
Me: (interrupting), "Josh, so what is the most important thing?"
Josh: "Love!"
Teya: "I know how to make paper dominoes!"

Two pleadings with the kids to please eat their dinner later...

Josh: "Does it cost money to get something fixed at a hospital?"
Me: "Yes!"
Dave: "A lot of money!"
Josh: "Do you have to pay for it before they will fix you?"
Dave: "Yes."
Josh: "Even in an emergency?"
Me: "Yes."
Josh: "What if you don't have any money?"
Dave: (insert small discourse on how hard-working people pay health insurance every month, and they are the ones who have to pay for those who don't have health insurance, but still expect to get treated)
Josh: no more questions.

Scene II: Cut to me reminding Josh he has the lesson for FHE.

Me: "So, Josh, what are you going to teach for the lesson?"
Josh:"I don't know."

(Three minutes later)

Me: "Josh, have you decided what you are going to teach for FHE?"
Josh: "Yeah. Just go on Netflix and instant stream the VeggieTales movie about the 2,000 stripling warriors."
(There are several things wrong with that sentence. Can you find all of them? None are grammatical in nature, hopefully. Answers listed at the bottom of the post.)
Me: "Josh, there isn't a VeggieTales movie about the stripling warriors."
Josh: "Why not?"
Me: Because the VeggieTales movies are made by a Christian company that just believes in the Bible, and the 2000 stripling warriors' story comes from the Book of Mormong.
Eden: "Yeah, they are Christian, Josh!"
Me: "So are we, Eden."
Eden: "I thought we were Mormon!"


Josh instead reads the chapter from Daniel and the Lions Den aloud to us for FHE. We are trying to elicit a decent discussion afterwards.

Dave: "So, what does this story teach us?"
Josh: "Well, there is this VeggieTales movie about chocolate bunnies..."
Me: "That's about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, not Daniel."
Eden: "They had to go in a furnace."
Teya: "And it happened to fruit, not real people!"
Me: "No, it happened to real people, and an angel came and protected them in the furnace."
Josh: "It was VEGETABLES, not fruit."
Dave: "Teya, do you think it is more important what happened to real people, or to fruit?"
Josh: "They were VEGETABLES!"
Me: "Let's just say the prayer."

Tucking the kids in that night:

Me: (to the girls) "Remember, NO candy when you wake up in the morning!"
Teya: "Pixie sticks aren't candy."
Me: "Yes, they are."
Teya: "They are just plain sugar. Sugar isn't candy."
Me: "Go to bed."

Dave: (to Josh) "Just close your eyes and go to sleep!"
Josh: "But closing my eyes doesn't make me fall asleep! It just makes everything go dark!"

And, that was just Monday. Between the hours of 6:30 and 8:00 p.m.

Answers to above question: 1)I'm just not used to my kids demanding we instant stream anything yet. They are truly part of the "I want it here and now and I don't want to wait" generation. 2)Since when is a VeggieTales MOVIE a FHE lesson? 3)VeggieTales make Bible stories only and have no affiliation with the Church, or Book of Mormon Stories.

1 comment:

Diana Waite said...

yep! sounds familiar! :) I especially love the clarification about the veggie tales not being fruit.

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