Thursday, December 4, 2008

Jennie vs. the woodpecker

Ah, the holidays -- the candy I 'take' from my kids' Halloween stash, the smell of pumpkin pie baking in the oven, the lights all aglow at nights, and the annoying rapping of the neighborhood woodpecker.

We have this woodpecker that has chosen our house as its place of preferred pecking for the last three winters. It is SO annoying. That doesn't even begin to adequately describe it. Imagine someone knocking at your door - loudly, consistently, with a repeating pattern about every 10 seconds. Now, transfer that noise to right outside your chimney on the eaves of your house, and the sound reverberates throughout the house.

I've looked up on the Internet how to rid oneself of such a pest, and I have to find a 2 story-ladder and climb up and hang mylar baloons or something reflective. And then... maybe... it will work. No guarantees. So, until I get said mylar balloons and a ladder and someone willing to climb up to our roof, I have to resort to other methods.

My method of choice is Dave's airsoft gun. Pretty much every day -- several times a day -- you will find me stealthily cocking the gun and tip-toeing outside, around our palm tree, ducking behind the pillars, aiming, and firing with all my might at this tiny, LOUD, bird. I have yet to actually do any damage to the thing. But, it is not for lack of trying. Once I actually got a feather or two, but it is pretty fast and flies away, only to return an hour or so later and the whole charade starts anew.

I know I sound sadistic and mean -- I mean this is a bird we are talking about -- but spend two days with it and I guarantee you'd be on my side. So, imagine how I feel about the thing after 3 years. It is seasonal (comes in late October and leaves by the end of March). So far, the score is Woodpecker: 347, Jennie: 1/2 (I'm counting the hit with the feathers). But I will win. I will.

8 comments:

Diana said...

I think you need a leather outfit and dark glasses to go with your airsoft gun (the terminator look)... maybe then it will be afraid! :)

VikiViki said...

That is supery-dupery annoying. If only I lived closer - then I could probably rid you of that pest with a single shot. (I hate to brag - but my hunting record is 3/3 DEAD-on first shot!) =)

Bojana said...

I can't even imagine what living with a noisy bird is like, but I wish I could help you out...I'll ask my father-in-law, he worked in the woods for a long time, maybe he has an idea...I seriously thought these birds do most of their pecking on the trees...

Wendy said...

How annoying! My mom had magpies in her yard a few summers ago and she thought she'd go insane from them.

You're my first hunting friend--wear that title with honor!

So when are you and Kim coming out? Julia and I will be anxiously waiting!

Kako said...

We had a woodpecker last year that would peck on our metal fire place top, so it would echo like crazy, and at really early hours and I kept thinking, what a stupid woodpecker(sometimes I used different words than stupid), when will it learn that it can't break through metal? I'm guessing something happened to it, or it learned because I haven't heard it for a while. Is that hopeful?

Red Seaglass said...

I love this post. My kind of girl. Kill it!! Kill it!!! And call me when you get it, I will come help you bury it very ceremoniously. :) And also, I have varying degrees of fire power here at our house, in case you need more powerful options.

Kim said...

Air soft gun eh?! You go girl. You can conquer the beast. Good luck. I bet there is some kind of chemical that you could spray around that birds don't like the sent of if your hunting skills don't pay off. I'd ask your local nursery or county extension center.

Janell said...

Ha-ha! I am giggling because my Grandparents had a fight with a woodpecker a few years ago. My Grandpa sat on his porch with a BBGun and had target practice! I have no doubt that you will win! :)
-jd

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