Saturday, December 13, 2008

Where are you?

In college, I was in a band. We were a one-hit wonder (as in I WONDER why no one has ever heard of us). Our band name was called “Or Something”. The thought behind it was that we could say “Have you heard of the band or something?” and really confuse people. (It seemed like a good idea at the time).

Well, having given up all hope of VHI or MTV (or even BYUtv) ever knocking at my door wanting to do the ‘behind the music’ story of our one hit, I decided to plague you, my blog audience, with the saga.

This might be a long post, but hopefully entertaining enough to make it worth your while.

Go back with me to the late winter of 1997. Gwen Stefani was known as the lead singer of “No Doubt”, the White House was full of scandal thanks to Monika Lewinsky, and another school year was coming to a close in the Rocky Mountains of Utah.

For me, it wasn’t just any school year; it was my senior year of college. Most of my roommates and friends were engaged. Love was in the air (it hits earlier than spring in Provo). But, somehow, I had missed the boat completely. Not only was I not engaged, I wasn’t even dating anyone. And, I was about to graduate from BYU – SINGLE!

I was returning with several friends from a road trip to Idaho (to attend a friend’s wedding, of course) when I penned the song. In fact, the original name of it was called “Idaho Road Trip”. But, it wasn’t that catchy of a title, and since it had NOTHING to do with rest of the lyrics, I later changed it to “Where are You?” Here it is. While you're listening, keep reading.

Here are the lyrics in full, (along with my asides and insights in parentheses and italics). (Think of it like watching a DVD with the director’s commentary ON). Since it is basically about dating at BYU, there are several inside jokes that only those that attended BYU would understand, so I have explained them.

When I was only 17 (I really was 17 when I started college)
And barely 5 foot 2, (I’m 5’6”)
I knew I’d meet the man of my dreams
In the Land of BYU. (It truly is its own anomaly of a city)


You weren’t in my Y-group, (During Freshman orientation, all freshies are divided up into Y-groups that you do all your bonding activities and classes with)
Or in ward boundary lines.
I took a social dance class, (The ultimate ‘dating’ class (beginning ballroom) – I refused to ever take this class on moral grounds)
But still I could not find

You so I

Changed my major to El Ed, (Elementary Education – the major that let the boys know you just wanted to get married and raise kids – no offense my El Ed friends – you’re the ones laughing now – I have no idea what I’m doing with my kids!)
So I’d be a good wife.
And with the hopes of getting wed,
I studied in the Clyde (The Clyde building was mainly for engineering students, which were mainly men… its all about ratios of men/women at BYU)


Where? Where are You?
Did you not make it into BYU? (Even back then, it was hard to get into BYU, so maybe my man was going to UVSC instead?)
Why? Why am I
All alone, and ready to cry? (just for rhyming purposes – I’m not much of a crier)
I thought that we’d
Fall in love,
And be married.
Now, where are you?
I hope I didn’t miss my cue.

So three years of this game I played, (Freshman, Sophomore, Junior year)
Then I was called to serve. (True)
So to my friends and family bade
Farewell and got the nerve

To ask my

Mom if I should look for you
While serving in the field.
A good Zone leader who’d be true (Zone leaders are elders who’ve been given extra responsibility in the field)
To whom I could be sealed. (I had a strictly professional relationship w/ the elders in my mission)

So in the

MTC I tried to find
My true love everywhere.
But sadly I was reassigned
To serve on Temple Square! (In case you didn’t know, Temple Square is the only mission made up entirely of sister missionaries)

Oh dear me!


So now I’ve come for one last chance
Back here in Zoobieland. (A nickname for BYU)
I’ll look for you at every dance, (They had dances every weekend)
So you can hold my hand. (Interdigitation – this was like first or second base at BYU)

But then you’d

Say, like other guys I meet
I’m nice and everything.
But if my spirit is so sweet, (The ultimate ‘rejection’ – “you have a sweet spirit”)
Why don’t I have a ring? (an engagement ring – the ultimate prize for a girl at BYU)

And now I

Graduate this afternoon,
And you are all I lack.
And if I don’t meet you real soon,
I WANT MY MONEY BACK! (tuition money – why else attend BYU? Joking)

So tell me..


Well now I’m almost thirty-two
Just got my master’s degree.
But I just can’t leave BYU
So I’ll get my PhD. (I actually did go back to BYU and got my master's degree, but by then I'd met Dave. We got married during my first year of MBA school. Good thing, because I never wanted to write a dissertation!)

Okay, so there it is! I manipulated one of our FHE brothers who worked at the BYU recording studios to smuggle us in after hours and we recorded it. I then got the demo and we mass produced it on cassete single (by mass produce I mean we got the minimum quantity, 100). We actually played at a few BYUSA functions around campus. We even sold 6 tapes to the BYU bookstore! (Later, I saw 5 of them on the clearance table). I think I sold most of the tapes to my dad. Ahh! What a supporter! We even opened up for Peter Breinholt at the Senior Party for all graduating seniors, but alas, our mikes didn't work and so no one could hear the amazing song that would have been a one-hit wonder.

But, now you have. Consider yourselves one of the few, the proud.


VikiViki said...

I always thought it was cool that I had a sister that produced a song with a group. I was/am probably one of the biggest fans of "Or Something".

Dawn said...

That's hilarious!

Wendy said...

LOVE IT! This song will always be #1 in my heart. I still laugh every time I sing the song in my head. Truly clever.

So, what songs have you penned lately?

Bojana said...

Oh, I remember the song and I really liked it, but yes, there were quite a few things I didn't understand before:-) There was another song from your mission - I'd love to hear that one as well...

ducklips said...

That was a very funny song and, I think, described all the reasons why I never went to BYU. My favorite part was your commentary.

S.J. Crawford said...

JENNY- I had no idea you had it in you!!! You are a talented woman! And from an El. Ed major I am not offended. I found my pre-med boy at BYU! My favorite new word.. "interdigitation" That's a new one for me, thanks for the LAUGH!!!

Janell said...

I DIG IT! Thanks for the laugh! :)

mylajensen said...

This is hilarious (both the song and the commentary)! You are truly a remarkable woman...

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